Growth hurts

(Another from the "drafts" folder that never got published.  As it's relevant to things I'm pondering for the new year, I'm publishing it too).

As I've said, many times before, I know there are good things coming.  Changes are happening in my life and they're going to be AWESOME.  I can feel it.

I'm continually frustrated when they don't seem to materialize, however.  I want a postcard from the Divine, thankyouverymuch, with clear instructions or a hint as to what I'm supposed to be doing.

Recently, (on the very long and boring drive across southern Idaho, in fact), I had a revelation.

See, my MIL is dying.  I'm not sure she realizes it.  I don't know that FIL has realized it or accepted it, and I'm quite certain that several of the other siblings will be rather shocked by this.  But, thankfully, my DH is accepting it.  His mother fell and broke her hip a couple of weeks ago.  During her surgery, the surgeon noticed that her bone was particularly crumbly and sent it off for a biopsy.  She has bone cancer, in addition to the hip fracture.

The thing is, MIL is not one to work to overcome obstacles.  She's a perpetual victim, powerless to make her life any different.  The recovery from a broken hip is very painful and difficult.  It requires determination that I just don't think she has.  She also suffers from high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, and dementia.  Her short term memory is pretty well shot.  With all of this, I didn't think she'd recover from the broken hip.  Now, with the cancer diagnosis, well, I think she'll be gone before Christmas.

This brings up all sorts of practical issues for me, issues that I'll process and write about at a later date.  Today is about my revelation.

Dh said something about how his mother had "lived a good life."  It was all I could do not to snort my disagreement.  Her life does not look "good" to me.  In fact, it looks pretty freaking miserable.  If that's the definition of a "good" life, then it's not a life I want to live.

And that's the revelation.  I've gotten rather spoiled and complacent.  (And whiny, if I'm honest).  I spend a lot of time doing very little and complaining about not having a fulfilling life.

Hello?!

Really, MIL has had an easy life.  Comfortable.  Safe.  Predictable.

Uninspired, boring, unenlightened as well, in my opinion (hey, it's my blog.  I get to be opinionated).

But, here's the thing.

I have a pretty easy, comfortable, safe, and (relatively) predictable life.  And I'm allowing myself to become complacent.  If I don't change something, I'll wind up sitting in my living room watching the world go by just like MIL.

That's the *last* place I want to end up.   So, it's time to make some adventures for myself, embrace the interesting, enlightening, adventurous and fun life I want to lead.  The life I want to, someday, be remembered for.