There's really no good way to title this post, especially since y'all know my relationship with her was rocky at best. If you'll recall, she broke her hip in early 2013, had surgery, had a pacemaker, found cancer, was miraculously "cured" of that cancer (clearly I have my doubts), but the leg break wasn't healing, so she wasn't ambulatory so she'd been in a nursing home/rehab center ever since.
All caught up now? Good.
She passed away on July 2. And it really was time. Maybe even past time. I didn't like the woman. There's no secret there, but she was still a human being and compassion says she'd been through too much. In the end, she developed an infection (likely in her mouth as she refused to allow her dentures to be removed for cleaning), and her body simply shut down. FIL knew it was happening, but wasn't with her when she died. He's doing as well as can be expected. I'm sure he misses her, but I'm equally sure he's been saying goodbye for a year and a half.
We went up as quickly as we could arrange. Thankfully, it was summer, so we didn't have to work around all of the school, sports and church activities that are a normal part of life September to May. And then we cleaned.
People, please, for the love of all that is holy, teach your family the importance of weekly cleaning! PLEASE. The toilets were horrific. FIL put those blue tablet things in the tank and probably figured that was good enough. It's not, of course. And I'm sure much of the cleaning simply wasn't on his radar. It wasn't something he did so he didn't really think about it, and then it gets out of hand and he doesn't have the expertise to fix it.
Which is where I came in. I packed some of my favorite cleaning products, plus a giant tub of disinfecting wipes and several pairs of gloves, and then I got to work.....and put my children to work too. They now understand why I insist they clean the bathrooms once a week or so, even if it doesn't look dirty! Under the water line in all 3 toilets was solid brown. Hubby thought it was from the hard water, until I showed him the streaks the cleaner was making in the gunk. To be fair, some of it was hard water, but much of it came off. Some of it probably never will. Oh well. When it comes time to sell the house, Hubby and his brother will just replace the dang things.
Then there was FIL's geriatric toy poodle who's never been properly house-trained. That dog wets on everything! We've known that for a while and have worked with FIL before to get things cleaned but it doesn't do much good with the dog still around (the dog was put to sleep the week after the funeral. He was at least 19). For a number of reasons, including FIL's tendency to hang on to lots and lots and lots of stuff, I'm sure we'll have to replace flooring eventually too because I'm quite certain that the dog lifted his leg on all kinds of corners in that house, and the furniture never got moved to clean underneath.
I have to say, though, that FIL did really well with all of this. He was willing to let some things go into the trash. Other things went in that he'll hopefully never miss. Having become an expert on this behavior from my diligent viewing of "Hoarders," I reminded DH that now was really not the time to push that issue, so we didn't run through the house tossing things hither and yon. FIL allowed DH to throw away all kinds of things from the fridge. "Dad, this mustard expired a year ago. Do you even like mustard? No? Okay then we should toss it." I think FIL has never really processed things in that way. Someone left behind some almond or soy milk and that someone might want it.....probably not since it's long since expired. That gave me quite a bit of hope that we'll be able to help him let go of things over the next few years.
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