Tuesday was my Dad's birthday. It was also a completely insane day in my world. I left the house at 8 and didn't get home until about 12 hours later. Tristan left at 6:30 and didn't get home until almost 10; same for Bruce. Even Alana had an after school activity, so she was gone for nearly 12 hours too.
So, at about 6:30 pm (5:30 their time), mom called to point out that I hadn't called dad yet for his birthday. Because, of course, if I hadn't done it by dinner time, then I wasn't going to. Made me really mad. Dinner time was the first time we'd all been together all freaking day and I was catching up a bit with my family, you know, the one I created.
It gets better. Tuesdays are bowling night for my dad. He goes out to dinner and then bowls in a league. It's been this way for a couple of decades, at least. So, yesterday being Tuesday, Dad went bowling.
I don't know if mom got my hints and irritation when I told her that we'd been running all day (I don't think mom can get her head around the idea of me working, especially now that she's not). And I did call my dad, on his cell phone, catching him as he was getting his bowling shoes on. He was pleased to hear from us, but the thing is, HE DOESN'T CARE. He understands how things can be and he's not all hung up on celebrating on the very day of his birthday. He'd much rather we call and chat when we have time to really talk.
Now mom is another story. She would've been very hurt if we hadn't called her by dinner. And we still wouldn't have called her before dinner because it just wasn't possible. So mom projects her feelings onto my dad and then calls and pesters me in an effort to help heal the hurt that isn't there in the first place! DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!
This isn't the first time mom has done this sort of thing, though she usually saves the worst of it for my sister who lives closer. A few years ago, mom got all bent out of shape because Melany was unwilling or unable to visit on a school night for dad's birthday (Melany lives about 40 miles from my parents). Again, Dad didn't care in the least. He understood that his birthday generally is just another weekday and the world doesn't rearrange itself to allow for that. Mom, yeah....notsomuch.
And, of course, feeling like a chastised child who then does what mommy told her to do only takes away from the genuine affection for my father. It cheapens a gesture I was going to make anyway and that makes me sad. There's a rebellious part of me that would've *loved* to ignore the "summons" from my mother, but that would hurt my dad which isn't fair to him. It's not his fault that his wife gets a little nutty about this stuff.
*Sigh* And now I don't know what to do. Do I mention anything to my mom? Do I tell her that I don't like being treated like a 40 year old child who needs to be told what to do, when to do it, and how? Or do I let it go until next year, when she will, undoubtedly, do it again?
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