Yep, that's me. Part of it is because the last couple of weeks have been so busy that I can barely come up for air. Last weekend was Easter, so, of course, I had to make the girls' Easter dresses. As I struggled with the depression and the resulting inertia, I would've given up and had them wear a dress they already had. But, see it's tradition that Mommy makes Easter dresses. And I'd taken the girls to the fabric store to pick out the pattern and the fabric. I just couldn't let them down. So I finished the dresses on Friday afternoon, and there was only one small error that you wouldn't notice unless you were really looking for it.
Then, of course, there's Easter and all the attendant activities. We had a party at church on Saturday, and, again, I thought about not going. But, again, the children were excited and wanted to go, so we went. I really don't want to be out and about much. People want to talk about the kids and their diabetes. They have questions and they're concerned, and I get that. I know that it comes from a place of caring. But sometimes, honestly most of the time, I don't want to talk about it. I'm living this day in and day out, and right now, there are times when it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning.
If you ask me, I'll tell you I'm fine. Because my children need me to hold it together. So, I do the best that I can. My house is a mess, but we've got clean clothes and I made dinner for the last few nights. That's a victory, albeit a small one.
Back to my crazy schedule. Shannon is finishing up rehearsals for her school play on Friday. She's been at school until at least 5:30 every day this week. Tristan has started baseball with practices and games. Alana started soccer this week, but she's also still got dance until the first part of May. I've got National Scrapbook Day this weekend, plus it's the consignment sale to prep for. My items are all ready for sale. I volunteer tomorrow morning and then I've got the presale tomorrow night.
Seriously, it's nuts. But I'm glad for it in many ways. It keeps me from brooding.
So I hide from friends and keep myself busy.
(((HUGS)) I know how you feel for different reasons (obviously LOL) but the "kind concern" just kinda keeps it in your face sometimes... and I remember SO wanting to be MORE than my heart issues... the good news is it does eventually pass? Or maybe not... it just gets easier to bear? Not sure... but it does get better. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are LOVED!! You are a WONDERFUL friend, mother, wife and woman!! It's good to give this a voice... so run with it! It's YOUR blog after all! *wink* MUAH! Call me if you need to talk...I will be here. You are ALWAYS worth it! Even if you think I may be busy! I love you Sistah!