On Wellness

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, especially after Lent and how things went with that particular challenge. I started out looking to get rid of the junk in my life, from my home, my body, and my mind. The results were pretty great, really. I got rid of things in my home that had been weighing me down, and I got rid of things that I never should’ve been putting in my body to begin with. I got rid of computer games and found less back pain. Since Lent, I haven’t been as diligent and it shows. My weight has crept back up, which isn’t really the whole point, for me, but it’s an indication that things aren’t quite right.

Further, as you well know, I’m exhausted all the time and WAY too busy to enjoy my life. In sorting out my craft room , I realized that I miss working on those creative pursuits. But I fill my days with other things—facebook games, TV, PTA, and church things…..laundry and all my insane to-dos that are never done. I’m going a million miles an hour and not enjoying much of it. I don’t let myself have any down time, and I spend entirely too much time in front of this machine, while life just cruises on by.

So, the word for this summer is wellness. I’m still fleshing out what that means in my life, but I know some things. First, I must, must, MUST do something creative every day. It can be as simple as creating something new and different for dinner or solving a problem, but I’m fueled by those moments. I love to write. I love to read. I love to scrapbook and sew. I miss those things and I’m going to add them back into my life. It’s not selfish to pursue them. That’s the lie I’m struggling with at the moment, and the one that just might be the hardest to overcome. I don’t know where I got the idea that doing things I enjoy is selfish, but there it is. Somehow, somewhere I learned that, if I’m enjoying something, I’m shirking some other duty. The words aren’t quite right to convey the feeling, but it’s there. I feel guilty if I’m doing something I enjoy, like I shouldn’t be doing it. I’m going to have to give that some more thought.

I need to start with some basic things. I want to eat breakfast. I want to move my body. Well, okay, so maybe I don’t want to move my body so much, but I do want to feel good, and I feel good when I’m doing something active….or at least I feel good later. I want to take my supplements. I’m not sure when or how this one fell by the wayside, but it did and my body isn’t happy about it. I’m finding I get more hot flashes in the middle of the night at certain hormonal times….those were controlled by herbal supplements before. And heaven knows I have enough trouble sleeping as it is!

Why is it so easy to break good habits? Why is it so hard to break bad ones? Why is it so hard to establish those good habits in the first place?

Wellness also means spiritual disciplines for me…..that can be anything from yoga to writing to reading the Bible. God speaks to me in those quiet times and I love those moments. Those moments are essential for my well-being and there just aren’t enough of them in my life.